Ben Selecman passed away twelve days after a traumatic brain injury—and three weeks before celebrating his first anniversary with his wife. Twenty-eight-year-old Mattie had to find a way to move forward and reconcile herself with a good God, even when He did not give her the healing miracle she prayed for. 

In Lemons on Friday, readers walk with Mattie Jackson Selecman during the first years of grief following Ben’s tragic death as she grapples with her loss and leans on a steadfast God. Based on Selecman’s journal writings, Lemons on Friday will speak to all readers who must carry on without their loved ones and take a hard look at faith when their lives have not gone as planned.

Lemons on Friday grapples with questions like these:

How did I get here?

Will this always hurt?

Who am I now?

How do I move forward?

“When fundamental parts of our lives are lost, when people and things we thought we’d never lose are suddenly gone, it’s natural to want answers,” writes Selecman. “Why did this happen? Who’s to blame? What could I have done differently? And for many of us in the aftermath of life-shattering change, we also want to know, where is God? Not just where was He when the tragedy happened, but where is He now in my darkest days of hurt, wondering, and longing for comfort? When I am on the floor, writhing in tears with no idea what the rest of my life will look like, where is God?” 

Lemons on Friday offers insight and peace for anyone grieving, but especially for young people experiencing loss and facing a future that feels full of question marks.